Upon the Waves of Fate
by Evanescing Dreamer
Summary: Ah Tortuga, how could I have ever left here? The smell of rum, refuse and unwashed bodies early in the morning wharf rats slipping to and fro under feet, nothing but joyous memories to associate with this lovely time of year. Perhaps I shouldn’t have stay


Disclaimer: I own nothing and it's not worth it to sue me- unless you want half of my debt –that I'd gladly share.

I hate Christmas. Fitting that my name means the bloody holiday doesn't it? My mother, the French whore that she was, named me for the day that I was born on: Noelle. Isn't that just rich? Noelle. How is a girl to be taken seriously with a name like that? She probably hoped I'd become some little girl that she could dress up and present like a pretty little poppet. Not take up and fall in love with the stories of adventure that her clientele would tell me while they were downstairs awaiting her services.

Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh on the girl. She did raise me after all- the best way she knew how. And its not her fault that she died on my birthday, leaving me alone at the age of six with no way to fend for myself except to either go her own rout of self preservation or cut my hair and pretend to be male so I could find a job on board some ship like the _Black Pearl_ as a cabin boy.

It's true; I was one of the first to set sail with Captain Jack Sparrow…only he was not a captain yet. Oh no, old Jacky boy had to earn that title, and I was around when he did. We were rather close actually. He took me under his wing, perhaps because he was the only one to know my true identity, him being the man who was with my mother when she died. He was the one to put in a word for me when I showed up at the docks the day the _Pearl_ set sail from Tortuga under the captaincy of White Haired Willie.

Old Willie was not the nicest guy to look at, and not the nicest guy all around either. But he was fair when splitting up the plunder, as fair as pirates go, and he was a good captain; always willing to do what the crew did, never acting above them even though he would pull rank when the time came to. If the crew was eating hard tac and salted pork, he did as well; if the crew was pulling in the sails during a storm, he was as well; if the crew was enjoying a pint at the Red Boar after relieving the Spanish, French, or any other ship of their "unnecessary wealth" then old Willie was among the drunkest of them there. This caused the pirates under Willie to respect him, even if they didn't necessarily like him.

Now Jack on the other hand, White Haired's next in command, he was the one whom everyone liked. I think it's because they weren't quite sure whether or not Jack was brilliant or had been hit over the head by the butt of a pistol one too many times, though nobody had actually ever seen that happen to old Jacky. But nevertheless Jack Sparrow was one who commanded people's attention, for some reason their loyalty, and for another, their trust. Why this was, to this day I could not tell ya. But whatever the reason, whatever hair brained idea or scheme Jack cooked up was law according to White haired Willie. Which is where I fit into the picture.

After being abandoned by my mother, admittedly not of her own accord, Jack suggested to old Willie that a new cabin boy be brought on board because the other had been moved up in ranks due to a recent vacancy as usually occurred after a major heist involving hand to hand combat and canons.

Now seeing that I was six, had recently had a hair cut, and had yet to receive my mother's cursed womanly figure, I easily passed as a boy. When I was seven, actually on my birthday to be exact, Old White haired Willie decided to take one last plunder on the sea, and died in combat leaving the _Black Pearl_ under Jack's control. Everything was going fine until Jack's first mate, Barbossa, began to show his true colors. I never liked that man, always told Jack he was a bad fish. Yet Jack didn't listen to me, instead he would tease me about how my womanly instincts had not developed yet and that I should worry more about keeping the deck clean. And I did, the _Pearl _had never seen such clean decks than when I was cabin boy of her.

But regardless of whether or not Jack thought my womanly instincts were intact, I knew they were and just as I predicted, Barbossa caused a munitiny, and Jack was marooned on an island. I, on the other hand, was quickly found out. Jack was a key factor in keeping my gender a secret, and since he was no longer there, I was dropped off like a choleric sailor at the next port which happened to be Tortuga. Luckily, I managed to find my mother's former place of establishment and earned a few free meals and a place to stay due to the owner's personal connection with my mother. However, I have no clue how long that arrangement would have worked had Jack not found me a week and a half after I was dropped off.

Jack was sore about loosing his ship, but he did not let it get him down. We managed to snag spots aboard the _Ocean's Call_ as cabin boy and second mate due to the fact that the captain was romantically involved with Jack at the time. Anamaria became my hero; she was everything I wanted to be when I grew up: a woman who captained her own ship. Of course Jack had told her about how I was really a girl, yet the crew believed I was a boy. This rouse lasted until I was twelve, five years after Barbossa had stolen Jack's _Pearl_. That was when mother's beloved genes started to take over my body and I began to gain a womanly shape and the lovely crimson tide decided to flow every 28 days like clock work.

It was at this point when Jack's depression about loosing his ship really began to become noticeable, and his bizarre behavior began to grow more pronounced and even more outlandish. It was after one of Anamaria's newly acquired men tried to force himself on me after Jack announced my true sexuality, that Jack snapped. When we were docked in the Spice Islands after having just made some of the best trades that a pirate could wish for, Jack convinced me to help him privateer the _Call _on our own. The crew was all ashore celebrating and wasting their own portions of the small fortune on the comforts that pirates indulge in, when we set off. He told me later that night that we were off to find the _Pearl_ and recapture his one true love. When I asked him about Anamaria he smiled and said that she would get over it. It was only then that I began to wonder about his sanity, for he of all people should know how a captain feels about his ship.

Nevertheless it was only us for the time it took to leave the Spice Islands and head towards the Caribbean to gain a crew. And that's how life was for two years: him captaining the _Ocean's Call_ and me being lookout. I was too old to be cabin boy at that time and I was looking for something with more of a challenge to it. I loved the feel of being in the crows nest and being able to see for miles at a time. It gave me a chance to be by myself and think.

However life always manages to kick you in the pants and that's what it did to Jack. During a night when he was well within his cups, as he seemed to be more often the longer he was separated from the _Pearl_, he decided to gamble away the _Ocean's Call_ on what he thought was a sure win in a hand of poker. I always told him he was never lucky at cards.

So that's how I ended up at Tortuga again on Christmas, alone, for Jack was off to find himself his ship, and without one to take him to the _Pearl_, I was forced to stay here, where he had people who could keep an eye on me. Not that they were stand up people themselves, but at least Jack's reputation could protect me there than elsewhere. It was my fourteenth birthday and I was forced to sleep in the same room I was born in with ungodly noises coming from all the surrounding rooms. To make my keep, for sentimentality works for little kids, not fourteen year olds, I was forced to become a serving wench at the Red Boar. Not that I minded, it was really no different than being cabin boy during meal time, in the sense of dealing with the type of people I was and having to actually do work, but the hours were long, and unlike working on a ship, one did not get the joy of feeling the freedom that a ship delivers.

Luckily it was only a few months later when I was rounded up with a few other people to try to help Jack regain the _Pearl_. I can't blame Anamaria for slapping him as she did that day we were all lined up for inspection. The day I first laid eyes on him. Ah, I lost my heart for the first time, and I must say it was the last time too. Though little did my young fourteen year old heart know that his was promised to another, and the reason he was setting off on this journey was to find his precious Elizabeth. Yet even after I found out the truth, I could not keep my heart from wanting what it did. So I decided that even if I could not be his love, I would be his friend, or what a young teenage girl thought a friend was. I suppose that my feelings were rather painfully obvious, because never having grown up with a female to guide me, I did not know what to do with such feelings, yet the gentle soul that he was, he chose to overlook my gangliness both physical and emotional, and accepted me as who I was. A lost soul that was just in need of someone to care. Jack had at first, but the loss of the_ Pearl_ had slowly stolen him away from me. It was not until meeting Will that I realized it and realized that I needed to get away from everything and just be on my own for a while, discover stuff for myself that needed to be discovered; which is why I took up with Anamaria after Jack got the _Pearl_ back and Will went to marry his Elizabeth.

Which leads me to the present- just about to sail into port at Tortuga.

Ah Tortuga, how could I have ever left here? The smell of rum, refuse and unwashed bodies early in the morning; wharf rats slipping to and fro under feet, nothing but joyous memories to associate with this lovely time of year. Perhaps I shouldn't have stayed away from this place for so long. Ten years is quite a while to avoid a port, but then again can I be blamed for wanting to stay away from my demons as long as possible? The one time I did land here was when Anamaria was so badly wounded that I wanted to find the nearest doctor I could. Bloody Christmas luck; people wonder why I hate my name and refuse to be called by it, preferring Captain Gracie "Daggers" Durand. During my time in the Asian ports I had gained a reputation for my deadly accuracy with throwing daggers – all thanks to Will's teaching.

My twentieth birthday was when Anamaria left me all alone. But it was only after we had sailed together for almost six years and she had taught me everything she had ever known about being a female captain of a pirate ship; of how to handle a crew, how to gain a crew's respect and keep it, how to gain the respect and acknowledgment of other pirate captains. But most importantly, Anamaria had taken me under her wing and allowed me to blossom as a person and not just a girl who wished to do a man's job. Anamaria taught me that I could still feel things the way a woman was meant to, yet not appear as if I was weak. She helped show me that being a woman was not something to fight against, but that I could embrace it and use it to my advantage. She was one who espoused her femininity and used it to the hilt desiring me to realize that I could do the same thing. However, despite all of Anamaria's lessons, I merely accepted the fact that I couldn't change my outside appearance and moved on with my life.

By the time I had truly re-entered Tortuga, ten years after my hiatus, I was a different person than when I left it. However, I knew it was time for me to face my childhood and make a name for myself in the Caribbean as I had in the Asian and Southeast Asian sea ports. This is why I had decided to attack the Spanish ship leaden with rich cargo from the New World heading towards its homeland, along with the fact that I needed some change jingling in my pocket when I arrived in port for the appearance that I do well as a solo female captain.

As I walked about my ship, the _Lady's Fury_, supervising its docking, I couldn't help but smile. The _Spanish Pride_ had certainly helped in filling our coffers, and I was looking forward to putting some of mine to use. As my eyes glanced about taking in the men going about their business, I noticed one of my crew handing over a carved wooden ship to the cabin boy, or rather girl that had a bobbed haircut. Squealing in delight, the child flung their hands around the rough man who awkwardly patted her back while trying to hide a smile that was lurking about. Ugh, why did I have to keep her?

"Alex!" I bellowed across the ship. "Shouldn't you be helping in some way?"

"Sorry Mum!" At the use of such an informal word around the ship my left brow arched causing an immediate backtracking on the part of Alex. "I mean Captain. You see Spinner here gave me this ship to mark the ending of my first official term of being cabin boy, like you Mum! I mean Captain."

The blonde haired little sprite smiled impishly at me causing my eyes to roll. Alex wasn't my real child, she had been an orphan that I had found wandering the streets at the age of three when I had quickly stopped in Tortuga when Anamaria was injured. I was leaving the Red Boar after trying to drink away the pain of loosing not only a mentor but my dearest friend when I stumbled upon the little sunspot. Alex's fate had been similar to mine so many years ago when Jack had taken me under his wing, that in my inebriated state, it seemed the right thing to do, to take her under mine.

So four years later, I was still tied down with the imp and as much as I made a fuss about her, deep down both she and I knew that she was the light of my life. However, that was deep down and only shown in the confines of our cabin. Outside on deck I was the Captain and she the cabin boy, and I was to be addressed in such a way otherwise disorder would be more likely to creep up and being a female in a male dominated profession, I simply could not handle that. Even before she was the cabin boy, around my crew I was to be known as Captain. Why after four years she still slipped up was beyond me. However, many things that girl did were beyond me, such as why I was Mum to her. For some reason she got it into her head that I was to be known as Mum despite my repeatedly telling her I was not her mother; this made no difference to her. At the age of three she got it into her head that I was to be known as Mum and that was it as far as she was concerned.

"It's nice that Spinner gave you a gift, but he has work to do, and I'm sure that if you had been doing your work as well, he would not have had to stop doing his, because stopping you while you were working to give you a gift would not have entered his mind. Isn't that right Spinner?"

The gruff man grumbled something close to "Yes Cap'm" under his breath as his cheeks turned the slightest bit pink and he began to move the cap in his hands in a circle.

"It's alright Spinner, I know how beguiling this little sea nymph can be, you can get back to work now. But as for you Alex, I expect you to stay behind and see to helping the Cook with inventory when everyone else is heading off to shore. You can leave with me when you and Cook are finished as punishment for distracting my crew when working. Right now might not seem like a big deal, but when it is something more important who knows what dangerous things could happen."

Alex's pansy blue eyes stared down upon the wooden deck as I admonished her, causing my heart to lurch a bit, but I squelched the feeling. This was for her own good. I couldn't coddle the child, not when she was living in such an environment as this and her very life depended upon being focused and able to take orders.

"Can we go ashore now Mum? I've finished helping Cook. See? Here's the list of things we'll need."

Alex held a paper with scribbled writing upon it in my face as I lifted my head from my arms. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I had fallen asleep in my quarters while waiting for Alex and Cook to finish the inventory. Groggily looking at the list I mentally went over everything reminding myself to add this with the other costs to deduct from our recently acquired finances in the morning.

"Yes Alex. We can go ashore as soon as Tiny arrives back with news of any vacancies at the Red Boar."

"But he arrived earlier and has been whittling on deck waiting for you."

That comment caused any lingering sleep filled thoughts to flee as I jumped up from my desk.

"What! Tiny is on deck waiting for me? Why didn't he waken me?"

"Well Mum, he told me that he knew…"

"I knew ya had been exhausting yourself Cap'm with making preparations for the plunder, dealing with preparing a bunch of land hungry crew for setting up port for a few weeks and not to mention dealing with all the mental demons this place has for ya. Don't be worryin' Cap'm. Nobody but me has noticed anything. Well maybe this little one has with your rather short temper lately, but to the rest of the crew its how ya normally are once a month if ya get me drift."

I conquered my desire to blush at his insinuation about my womanly blessing every 28 days, and about his ability to see how I truly was handling landing in my birthplace, but I knew I could trust what he said, and it was a relief that he was the only one to notice a change in my stress level; though I did feel bad that the men would be surprised when their Captain decided to be rather terse more than once this month.

Tiny had been my closest confidant sense Anamaria had passed on. Partially due to his rank of first mate, partially due to the fact that I had decided to spill my guts to him one night when thoroughly plastered on some of Nanking's best Maotai shortly after Anamaria's death. He was an older man, one whose entire life

had been a love affair with the sea and was for some reason all the wiser about life for it.

"Whether you knew I was exhausted or not, I will not have my crew deciding what is or is not best for me. I am the captain of this ship and I will not have my authority questioned. Are we clear Tiny?"

I gave him my best glare, yet the annoying old coot simply smiled as he answered "Aye Cap'm," that old man was too much of a busy body for his own good. I didn't need to be coddled; I had never been so in my life and I didn't have any plans of starting now.

I gave a sigh as I nodded my head in the direction of the door.

"Lets go up for some fresh air. Tiny, what's our situation at the Red Boar?"

Alex wrapped her little hand in mine as we headed up on deck causing me to look at her quizzically as she simply gave me her little smile that she must have known always made my heart soften just a that little bit.

"I was able to secure you a room Cap'm."

"Good. I don't think I need to worry about you am I right Tiny?"

The old pirate chuckled.

"Aye, I can take care of meself just fine. Thanks for your concern."

I snorted.

"'Tisn't concern just wanting to make sure I won't be loosing the best first mate this ship has seen since I was in the position."

"Right Cap'm. I'm sorry to mistake you for showing any feeling."

Though it was said with a twinkle in his eye, I felt the blow of Tiny's words as though I had just received a sucker punch to the gut. Who was he to think he could second guess my actions. I was a female pirate. I had to be as guarded about my emotions as much as possible. Not many men desired to sail under females, let alone emotional ones. I had to be every bit as unfeeling as male captains if not more so.

My eyes began to narrow and a response was on the tip of my tongue as Alex began to tug on my right arm jerking my whole body about.

"Mum…mum!"

Turning my gaze down to Alex for she would not be ignored I signed in frustration. I knew that if I answered her the moment would be lost and I wouldn't be able to make a response to Tiny in my defense.

"What is it Alex?"

"I want to go ashore! I like it when I've been on a ship for a long time and then have to walk on land. My legs feel all weak and I spin around. I walk like the crew does after they've been drinking all night, only I don't feel sick and have to keep my head in the chamber pot all morning, or keep my head hanging over the railing."

Alex gave a visual demonstration while she explained her eagerness to get off the ship and onto dry land. It was rather comical to see a little girl twirling around then go into an imitation of hung over sailors.

Signing, I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger before nodding in agreement.

"Yes Alex, lets go. I'll see if we can have a bit of supper sent up before we turn in for the evening. I'm sure it'll be nice for you not to have a bed that rocks in the evening."

"Oh no Mum" Alex said emphatically as she shook her head "I like the rocking of the bed at night, it helps put me to sleep."

Taken by surprise for a minute I conceded the point before I continued.

"Well I for one will enjoy sleeping in freshly washed sheets. As much as I love the ocean I do wish there were more conveniences, like clean bedding."

Taking this moment I stifled a yawn and nodded my chin in the direction of the door.

"Lets go, the very talk of a bed is leaving me in more desire to obtain one." Glaring in Tiny's direction after talking about wanting sleep, as if to say 'see I do know how to take care of my own needs' I followed Alex who made her way towards the ladder that dropped off to the lifeboat awaiting to carry us to shore.

A.N. This is the story I'd been telling you about for PotC. I couldn't resist putting this up a little early –wanting it to be in cyber space before the new movie came out. I know I'll be AU but I still wanted it up. I'd love feedback on whether or not you think it should be continued. It's just a little plot bunny that had been a nibbling away. I know it's a different style that I'm used to writing but it's fun. P.S. I'm on vacation so don't expect an update for at least 2 weeks.


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